'Cooking Became A Bright Light In A Time Of Darkness'

'Cooking Became A Bright Light In A Time Of Darkness'Chef Richard, a formerly homeless San Francisco native. (Photos: Jonath Mathew/Stories Behind The Fog)
Hoodline
Published on December 06, 2016

[Editor's Note: Hoodline is participating in this week's SF Homeless Project, in which more than 80 area publications are each covering homelessness issues in their own ways.

To highlight the voices of current and former homeless people residing in our neighborhoods, we've partnered with Stories Behind The Fog, which is on a mission to humanize homelessness by telling the stories of 100 people who are or have been homeless in the Bay Area.

Read on to meet Chef Richard, a formerly homeless San Francisco native who graduated from the Conquering Homelessness through Employment in Food Services (CHEFS) Program at Episcopal Community Services and is now working as a professional cook. 

And to learn more about Stories Behind The Fog, including it's current fundraising campaign, and read additional personal accounts of being homeless in the Bay Area, visit storiesbehindthefog.com.]

My name is Chef Richard. I was born and raised in San Francisco, and I love cooking. I like to think that I inherited a lot of my cooking talent from my mother. She is a fantastic cook, and if I had to choose a last meal to have, it would be my mother’s meatloaf and mashed potatoes. When I was eating that, I knew that I was safe, and that everything was okay in the world. You might say that I’ve always tried to be a people pleaser. And what better way to please someone and put a smile on their face than to serve them a good meal?

People had always told me that I needed to get into cooking professionally, and at the age of 52, the opportunity presented itself by means of the Conquering Homelessness through Employment in Food Services (CHEFS) Program. I entered the program while I was homeless for a period of about seven to eight months, during which I spent most of my time bouncing around from friend’s house to friend’s house, sleeping on couches. When I didn’t have an available friend, I would sleep outdoors. I would have to pick a safe place, though. Homeless people get assaulted all the time. I used to stay in a schoolyard where I would have to hop a fence to get in. I figured that if I had trouble getting in, so would other people, and no one would bother me at night.

I have a wife. We’ve been married for about 36 years. The reason I was homeless was because I had an affair. My wife found out, and I was asked to leave home. I was so ashamed. Often times, I would go all the way to the North Beach area where no one knew me and there was no real possibility of anyone I knew running into me. All I had to my name was a sleeping bag and a handful of other essentials.

Being homeless is not a good feeling. It’s scary. And it’s the unknown that’s so scary. I’ve always had a place. I’ve always had a nice place. And to have all of my belongings in essentially what amounted to one bag? That was a trip! I was afraid. I had heard about homeless people getting mugged. Getting hurt. Getting killed. And that was always strange to me. Why would you want to mug a homeless person? Go out and rob somebody that has something, you know? I could never understand that. But it happened, and it happened a lot.

However, I learned that people are also generally very kind. Some people will have their prejudices, sure. But I met some of the nicest people during the time I was homeless; people from all walks of life. I remember one time in particular, it was incredibly cold, and I was waiting to get into the schoolyard. Some lady saw me and came out of her apartment with a bag of food, comforts, and a mug of hot cocoa. She said “I’ve seen you out here for the last month. I’ve seen you shivering. I have a storage room in my garage. Would you like to sleep there for the night?” That act of kindness blew me away. I accepted her gifts, but declined the room, of course. I didn’t want to inconvenience her more than she had already gone out of her way. That’s how I knew we have some kind folks out there, and if you’re willing to help yourself, they’re willing to help you.

About five months into my homelessness was when I remembered the CHEFS program. It was a program that I had heard about previously, and at the time, I was searching desperately for anything to get my life back on track to normalcy. It sounded perfect, the course was short, it was free, and it was about something I loved to do. I was still homeless during the beginning of the course, but for seven hours a day, it was a bright light in a time of darkness. I never missed a single class. About three months before graduation, things finally started to get better with my wife. She saw that this was something that I was very true to, and she saw that I was putting real effort into it. So I would spend a night there every so often. And gradually, we began to work things out.

It was a Friday in August of 2014 when I graduated. There were only four of us graduating out of an initial class of 20. Some people dropped out because the time commitment was too much for them. Some people were only in the program because their parole officer said they had to be in something. But they eventually dropped out, and at the end, it was only us four who had the passion and love for cooking that made it.

The following Wednesday, while I was with my wife at the DMV getting my driver’s license renewed, I saw that I had a missed call. It was from a lady at Episcopal Community Services saying that I needed to give one of the head chefs from the CHEFS program a call. So I call him, he answers, and he says to me, “Richard, I have an open position for you at my kitchen. Would you like to cook for me?” That’s how I became a professional cook.

Now, I wake up every morning and I hit the ground running to work. I always tell people, “If you don’t wake up in the morning looking forward to your job, then you need to find something else.”

Food is my way of expressing my love for people, you know? Because some kind people helped me become a cook when I was homeless.

Chef Richard’s story was written by Alex Basa, photographed by Jonath Mathew and originally published on Stories Behind The Fog.